


Virus Protection Software

by randomramblesff



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, angst included with extra feels on top, basic email security, basically i didn't like that throw away line about annie's blood being tested so... here ya go!, episode insert, harry mchale believes in me, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomramblesff/pseuds/randomramblesff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You had my blood tested for amphetamines?"<br/>An episode insert for someone who really didn't like that throw away line during Basic Email Security (S6, E6).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Virus Protection Software

**Author's Note:**

> Not connected to my Basic Email Security AU in any shape or form. This is kind of canon compliant and rather headcanon-y I suppose. It might not make a lot of sense but I needed to get it out of my system. Enjoy...

She feels a small tap on the top of her head and somehow, she instantly knows who it is. She doesn’t need to look, but when he leans up against the opposite pillar, her prediction is confirmed.

He’s squinting through his eyes as the torrential rain pours down and for a moment she’s having a bit of a déjà vu from the day they’d found out Pierce had passed. She blinks away what felt like a rain drop, but could have quite easily have been a tear as she thought back to how Jeff had held her close, his chin resting on the crown of her hair, in the same place he’d tapped it a few moments ago.

“What are you doing out here in the rain?” Jeff asked, his eyes still squinting up as he looked over. She could make out the muscle in his neck straining as he turned, emphasising the fact that he was clenching down on his teeth a little.

“Waiting for Abed to finish up a class.” She nodded towards another block towards Borchert Hall, her lips twisting into a pout as she finally looked up, crossing her arms over as a breeze brushed past, the downpour coming on stronger.

“You okay?”

The funny thing about Jeff, was the fact that he didn’t ask her that question very often. He’d usually just pop up and be there at the right moment to stop herself from feeling like she wasn’t. But whenever he did ask, it was always timed perfectly. The words slipped from his mouth so simply, always in a deep and rich tone as if the three syllables meant so much more than what they really were.

“Yeah… it’s just been a long couple of days.” Annie nodded before looking down at her shoe, scuffing it in a small wet patch on the cold concrete surface.

“But, we did the right thing though… heh, look at that… Britta was right about something.”

She rolled her eyes without looking over at him, the corners of her lips tugging upwards by a miniscule amount. He could sense it slip away though as she tucked a stray piece of hair around her ear, slipping it beneath the hood of her coat.

“I think there’s something else we can all take from it though… and that’s the fact that we’re never going to know each other as well as we think we do. Being friends with a group of people for so long… you get consumed in this _bubble_ of thinking you know everything all the time. We forget that we have lives outside of all this crazy stuff… we’re never gonna’ know everything, and maybe that’s a good thing. Keeps us on our toes for when we do find stuff out.”

“Yeah, or lives _before_ all of this crazy stuff…” Annie was mumbling slightly but the rain was being rather temperamental, dropping to a quiet pitter-patter so he could still hear her voice. He tilted his head as he thought it over.

“What do you mean by that?”

She shrugged, shifting her weight to her left foot as she pushed off of the pillar to her right, stuffing her hands into her pockets, her thumbs exposed on the outside.

“Well, if we forget about the fact we do stuff on our own _now,_ that means we’re probably forgetting about all the stuff we did beforehand… and which is worse? I mean… if we forget about everything we’ve been through, then you start to forget about how things might affect certain people.”

Jeff swallowed deeply as he watched her, shaking her head as her chin quivered slightly.

“I guess I haven’t really had time to think about it that much but… I actually feel kind of betrayed by everyone. For you all to go behind my back like that with a _blood_ test… did you just all forget what I’d been through? That could really affect someone like me. _Luckily_ I’m over it and I’ve never felt the urge to go back to that _horrible, dark_ place, but… I was _eighteen.”_

He was clenching down on his teeth further now. His own hands were in his pockets and he too was now standing off, away from the pillar to his side. He could feel his heart beat pulsing through his veins, from his fingertips to his toes with the thought that he could have been the cause to something happening to Annie. Something he’d promised himself he would never let happen, could have unfurled right in front of him, and he would have been part of the blame.

“Sometimes I _really_ question what we’re all doing… I thought we were all at a stage now where we can talk to one another but then I find out that my friends don’t even trust me to look after myself? I’ve been doing it for about _seven_ years or even longer, now. If anyone was _really_ that concerned, I would expect you would just come right out and ask me.

Sure… last year was a little weird but it was for everyone, right? We were all adjusting to things… Pierce _died,_ Troy left, Shirley’s gone now too… so what if I reacted a little differently… I always try _so_ hard to stay positive and have a different perspective on things but as soon as I drop that, you all jump to the conclusion that I’m slipping back into something that I _survived?_

By no means am I putting this all on you, but… quite frankly now I think about it… I’m kind of offended. You’re right… we really don’t know everything about each other because if we did, I would have known that’s how you would have reacted.”

She sighed before pulling her hood a little further over her head, concealing her face as Jeff took in every word of what she’d been saying. He took a breath before speaking, staying in place as she stood beside him. The rain was back, making their voices a little harder to understand, so their natural gravitational pull towards each other made sense in this case.

“Look… it wasn’t my decision to do it, but I’m not going to back out either. After hearing everything you just said, I obviously now know it was a terrible idea because I would never want to be part of the reason as to why you’re upset or as to why you feel betrayed but… honestly, the main reason I didn’t just come up and ask was because sometimes I don’t know whether you need or even _want_ it.

I know that you don’t want to feel like you’re relying on anyone or that you can’t deal with things on your own, but sometimes we just want to help… we just want to be part of what makes you awesome.

I don’t mean that in a condescending way, or for you to take it as an offense but you’re right. You have been doing it all on your own for a long time and that’s… admirable, Annie. You should seriously be proud of everything you’ve done.”

She looked up at him through her lashes, the top of his head being obscured by the corner of her coat. As she looked away again, taking a shaky breath, a rain drop fell between them, splashing into even smaller droplets before tricking into the ever growing puddles on the front steps.

“Do you want to know something?” She knew it was a rhetorical question, but she looked up anyway, her eyebrows raising out of slight curiosity.

“I don’t know if this is too much information but… when I was starting out as a ‘lawyer’” he spoke, throwing up quotation marks with his fingers, “I went through this period where I would sleep with any woman I could get my hands on because for some reason it put this idea in my head that the more people I slept with, the more masculine I would become.

I started to realise the _real_ reason that I did it was because I was trying to prove something to myself that usually came with having a dad around. I guess I thought I was a _man_ if I somehow pleased all of these women… but really all I was waiting for was my dad to just tell me it to my face.

Obviously that never happened and I soon stopped when I realised it never would… I get what it means to always rely on yourself… because you’re scared that if you start to rely on someone else, they might not ever actually come through.

I guess my point is that you don’t need to prove to yourself that you can be independent and that you can deal with things on your own. Indulge in the fact that there are people around you who are willing to support you and be there. Be _selfish_ with the fact that we care about you.

We might not have made the best decision and I promise I will never let it happen again, but it was all with good intentions. Plus, we found out a little more about your heritage at the same time so… that’s pretty cool, right?”

Annie emitted a laugh at this. Making Jeff smile as he nudged his elbow at her playfully. She rubbed a thumb against her forehead, partly due to a rain drop that was working its way down her face and partly because a headache was working its way through her brain.

“Am I _really_ that bad?” Annie asked, her eyebrows creasing questioningly.

“No! Of course not… like I said, it wasn’t just _my_ decision. I’m pretty sure it came about with Abed’s project anyway. You’re fine… in fact, you’re better than fine. Like I said, you’re awesome. Who cares about what we think?”

Annie smiled a little sadly before breathing out again, her shoulders raising and falling dramatically as she tilted forward slightly before Jeff’s arms wrapped tightly around her, his cheek pressing to her hair.

She was there again; back on the day that he’d labelled things between them as strictly platonic. She still believed his words and wasn’t waiting for anything to change, but she couldn’t push down that tiny spark within her that maybe one day things would.

Hope points, and all that.


End file.
